Back on the planet and back to work........

          There is no explanation for my lack of motivation over the last six months, other than the despair I've felt over the loss of my sweet Bichon, Lacy back in August.  Never did I expect to "fall off the planet" so to speak, having always been the stoic, take charge, full steam ahead, ADHD type personality.  But this truly threw me for a loop.  

          How did I spend those six months?  I didn't expect to function normally for at least two of them which proved to be true.  Walks on the property without her just caused more sadness so that was eliminated from my mornings. Shoveling a path in the snow for her no longer needed to be done and I actually resented that. Trips to the shelter only caused me to blubber like a baby at the sight of any white dog.  (Sadly, I've learned that Pets Alive in Elmsford, NY had to close down because of severe damage to their building and all the dogs were moved further away..... Just when I felt ready to resume my volunteering.) 

            Holiday events and family gatherings with the grand babies through December helped a lot.  Logan, being the astute and insightful toddler that he is, always entered the house with a hug and announced "Nana misses Lacy" at the sight of her picture sitting on a shelf in the kitchen.  Somehow, hearing him say it over time, made me realize how simple his acceptance was, of her not being around anymore, which helped me to accept it too. Children teach us so much.

           I tried to return to designing (half-heartedly) and absorbed myself in research, development and creating more product, feeling the need to keep the brand going.  I was even able to sell a bit in that period of time. Treks into the city in January and February (through snow and sleet more often than not) for trade events, seminars, and trim and fabric shopping were invigorating and productive.  As I write, I see a pattern here…..literally, time does heal all wounds. Though I don’t feel I can ever entirely “heal”, I am now able to see a dog and not burst into tears.

            The freezing weather of Mid-February and March,  finally drove us to warmer climes and a six week stay in Florida. With free lodging and use of a car at my brother-in-law’s house, it was good to get away.  The hardest part of that was learning to actually relax; the easy part was enjoying the warmth.  When we weren't taking day trips to the beaches, the Gulf Stream race track or a mini-vaca within a vaca to Naples, Florida, I sat with my Ipad in hand by the koi pond and watched any and all YouTube videos pertaining to dogs.  I checked all the pet adoption sites online,  and even went to a pet adoption event in Fort Lauderdale (though I had to leave after 45 minutes, wishing I could take several of the pups home with me.) Pathetic, huh?   However,  I went from NEVER wanting another dog, to maybe, some day, to WHEN I get another dog. So I guess that’s progress.

 Gladly, two little teacup Yorkies, Sassy and Zena were also visiting at the time and they allowed me a much needed reintroduction into fur baby snuggling, tiny wet pup kisses and giggle producing, comical antics. They also inspired some sweet little teacup products I’m actually excited about and have begun creating, so that too is progress.

 Now that we’re back in NY, and I have my own space once again, I feel the renewal spring always brings.  There are courses to take, patterns to perfect, pet events to attend, harnesses to produce..... newness abounds………I’d say I’m back on track, with an occasional mis-step and a tear for my girl ...but I’m OK.