.....end of the road musings

So Lollypups hit the ripe old age of 14 from the day-one decision to embark on this entrepreneurial endeavor, to the present time- March 31, 2023 and another notch added (thankfully) to my "golden years".  As I look back at past blog posts,  I'm amazed at what went on during those 14 years: the research process, the designing, the successes and failures of those designs, the pitfalls and the frustrations of starting something from scratch,of dealing with vendors who, understandably,  had little time or use for small businesses, all of this,  with absolutely no foresight into how I would pull it off.  That's exactly what made the whole thing so exhilarating.  From start to finish, I never knew what would happen, always struggling to make the right decisions during an economic recession and the rising costs of material and failing miserably. Then onto a Covid 19 pandemic screeching everything to a halt and yet,  learning perserverance in spite of drawbacks. 

Here's what I can now take away from evaluating this enduring experience.  I am, I know, basically an upbeat person yet I also know, I have been apprehensive and basically lacking in self confidence all my life. A true sufferer of  "imposter syndrome".   For me to have pulled this off to the extent that I did, is nothing short of miraculous.  Now, that being said, I am no Donna Karen or Martha Stewart, or female CEO of a million dollar company.  In fact, I really don't think I set out to change the world of dogdom with my designs or to make my fortune.  I did however, bring a bit of laughter, joy and smiles to dog people across the country. Whatever profits I made went back into the business or to pet shelters and adoption events.  I took no salary other than treating myself on only two occasions, to craft show jewelry purchases.  So my modicum of success was really to my satisfaction, because it allowed my fragile ego to gain strength in knowing that I pulled it off in my own way. Do I miss it?  Sometimes yes, but mostly, I'm devoting myself to creating art..... something this "imposter" never had the courage to pursue wholehartedly but with the burning desire to do so.  So, there's that little success. 

There were many changes in my life over those entrepreneurial years.  Travel, grand babies, downsizing from my home of 21 years, being at peace with a life filled with many downs but still more ups. This business plopped me in a terrain of happy hustling, absorbing information, honing skills, developing friendships and, with each new experience, the freeing aspect of not having to answer to anyone but myself.  I never once thought of retirement;  sitting around reminiscing about the good old days, or feeling bad about my wrinkling skin and poor eyesight, or my arthritic knees and hands detering me from doing anything I set my mind to do.

Who is this person??? No longer filled with self doubt but walking with a slight skip in her step (when not limping)  and a smile on her face.  Talking to every dog that passes by and greeting every person they're strolling with. Thank you Lollypups Petwear for a job well done keeping this old gal sane, and Etsy, for making selling and shipping painless.   And
to that imposter.....I bid you a fond goodbye. 

Boomer Musings

            I've given a lot of thought to this whole semi-retirement thing (I don't think an artist can ever really RETIRE...just maybe be a bit more selective as to how to spend each day.)  I've noticed a pattern in my routine lately and chalk it up to the fact that I no longer have to catch a train and be at an office so like an insolent and defiant teenager, I refuse to rise early and follow any customary schedule. And yet, here I am doing the same things each morning.

             7AM rolls around and because JL is an early riser, and I am no longer one,  he's up and brewing the coffee, jolting me awake with slamming cabinet doors, banging pots and general clattering around in the kitchen below.   He then dutifully brings up my coffee, setting it on the nightstand, and goes back down into his office to start writing.  If he's used the ceramic mug with a lid I had purchased in Chinatown some 25 years ago, then its contents will stay relatively warm while I start my first task of the day. Otherwise, it inevitably cools off as I get sidetracked , forcing me to get out of bed and nuke it in the microwave. 

              Today, the proper mug has been employed.   I'll reach for my ipad and through half closed eyes,  begin checking and deleting emails.  It's astounding the money I save by not opening messages from J.Crew, Kohls, Wayfair, Snapfish, Babies R Us,  Rue La La, Overstock.com, Michaels, Jo-Ann,
Walmart, Kmart and Petsmart.    However, I do draw the line at Anthropologie and stop to explore their current eye candy offerings.  Sidetrack #1, fifteen minutes of what to love but  NOT to buy. 

             Next up, Pinterest.  I'm amazed at the number of beautiful and interesting things I've pinned. 2.3K pins on 64 boards to be exact,  yet they have no purpose and I rarely ever return to look at what I so carefully and obsessively catalogued.  But I happily view these digital delights each morning and pin, like, follow and repin new ones..... on the off chance I actually WILL make that pearl statement necklace, or those embellished baby booties, or take inspiration from the dozens of watercolor sketches and actually start painting again.  Sidetrack #2,  fifteen minutes of mentally filing techniques to try....wet on wet, drybrush, pencil sketch, pen sketch, no sketch, direct watercolor sketch....

In all fairness (to myself) I do utilize  some pins for my textile design projects or Lollypups harness development.  However, I continue my old school mentality of visual stimulation being the best stimulation, and create actual physical boards that are in my face at all times, sometimes printing out an inspirational color combination or patterns from my pinterest boards. Sidetrack #3 time to get up and reheat that cold coffee.
                It's now 8AM, time for checking out the news which I return to bed, with newly heated coffee, to do. Ginger and I have become simpatico when it comes to lazy morning routines. She moves from her basket/bed on the floor and jumps up beside me. Never one to paw on the bed at dawn and beg for breakfast or to be taken out for a walk, bless her little canine heart,  she resumes her snoring and I resume tapping my ipad. Pop ups on the side of my news feed entice me to watch any videos that pertain to dogs.  Sidetrack #4, fifteen minutes of tearjerker rescues, reunited military and their dogs, Cesar Millan's latest success or failure, and segments of Animal Planet episodes.
                My newest scheduled practice thanks to Emily, the queen of organizing, is my personalized planner, a colorful, trendy and updated kind of filofax (for those who remember) with corny inspirational quotes at the top of each new month. Like "Aspire not to have more, but to BE more", or "Dream it, Wish it, Do it".  I've lived a life of 68 years and find this uninspiring and pretty useless, truth be told.    But in any case,  with pencil and cutesy stickers in hand (www.etsy.com/shop/3lbstudio) I prep the week with sticker reminders, notes, deadlines,  things to do, things to try to do, things to do that I didn’t do yesterday.  Obviously, I’m still attempting to get the hang of this so continue to rely first and foremost, on my good old iphone calendar.  

                8:30AM, I move from bed to kitchen table for breakfast, feeling that the day is off to a good start,  my head spinning with what productivity is ahead, as Ginger moves to the living room window, lays down on a sunny spot on the couch and resumes snoring.  

To Be Continued.......